Today, the screen I write on remains empty. As hard as I try, no story or anecdote comes to mind. Lent does this to me each year. Lent begins well, and then I reach a point where the path seems to disappear. Sometimes the silence is like a road sign that tells me I’m hiding from something. I’m afraid if I start writing I might have to face the shadow side of my life.
I know Lent is about facing the shadow side of my life. Yet, I resist naming the sins or character defects that want to hide in those shadows. Perhaps that’s why Lent is 40 days long. It’s hard to hide for forty days. Yes, I can avoid the shadows for a week maybe even for 30 days, but, 40 days? Forgive me if I keep hiding. I’m not ready to face the shadow yet.
All I can do is pray and only with the words adapted from the “Daily Prayer 2005” book
Saving God, though fear overwhelms me I call out to you, and you deliver me from despair. Release me from sin’s prison, made by my own hands. Free me for your service, that I may glorify you with praise and thanksgiving.
“If you, O Lord, mark iniquities, who can stand?” (Ps 130:3)