On a scale of 1 to 10, today my experience of Lent 2006 might rate a "4." (With 1, being, Oh is it Lent? And 10 being a transforming spiritual experience.)
I have the expectation that every day of Lent should be this earthshaking spiritual experience. This second Monday of Lent should be more than just answering the alarm on a Monday morning. Other than it being earlier than normal for a meeting I agreed to attend.
I am not filled with this expectation during ordinary time. But for some reason I expect the days of Lent to be different. And when this Monday of the Second week of Lent is no different from many other Mondays I wonder, "What I have done wrong?"
If I pray more, fast more, spend more time in Church perhaps God would speak to me. During my more rational moments I now this isn't true but somehow during Lent I expect a different experience.
However, I still find myself breaking my Lenten practices. There is even one activity I planned to make part of my Lenten practice that I haven't even started. And there are taxes to prepare, meetings to plan for and events to take part in. My calendar is full and growing. Oh, yes, Lent.
I wonder what standard I should use to measure the success of my Lenten experience. I have a need to know, how am I doing? All I know is that today, one more time I commit to this Lenten practice of prayer, fasting and almsgiving. This is who I am today.
"Lord, do not deal with us according to our sins." (See Ps:103:10a)